CBT techniques for postpartum depression - perinatal therapy

When Being a Mum Feels Heavier Than You Expected: Simple Ways to Feel More Like Yourself

You're doing everything right. You're feeding the baby, changing nappies, keeping them alive. But inside? You feel empty, exhausted, or like you're watching your life through a foggy window.

Maybe you're crying over nothing. Or feeling nothing at all. Maybe you're convinced you're the only mum who isn't glowing with joy, and that makes it even worse. Maybe you were desperate for this baby (like I was) so it's even worse to know you're not loving life.

If this sounds familiar, you're not broken. What you're experiencing is real, it's common, and there are small, practical things you can do right now that actually help.

The Thoughts That Keep You Stuck

When you're struggling after having a baby, your brain can become really good at telling you unhelpful stories:

• "I'm a terrible mother"

• "Everyone else is coping better than me"

• "I should be enjoying this"

• "My baby would be better off without me"

These thoughts feel true. But feelings aren't facts. And the exhausting thing? These thoughts make everything harder.

What You Can Do When Your Brain Won't Shut Up

Notice the thought, don't believe it-examine it like it's separate from you

When "I'm a terrible mother" pops into your head, try this:

Instead of fighting it or believing it, just notice it. "There's that thought again." Like you're watching a bus go past - you don't have to get on it.

Ask yourself: "Would I say this to my best friend if she felt this way?" Probably not. So why say it to yourself? What is the more compassionate alternative that you would say to this friend who told you this exact thought?

Look for the evidence

Your brain is showing you all the ways you're failing. But what about the evidence that you're doing okay?

• Did the baby eat today? You did that.

• Are they clean and safe? You did that too.

• Did you ask for help, even when it felt impossible? That took courage.

You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be enough. And you already are.

When Everything Feels Overwhelming

Break it down until it's doable

"Get through the day" is too big when you're drowning.

Try: "Get through the next hour." Still too much? "Get through the next feed." Still too much? "Make a cup of tea and sit down for five minutes."

There's no prize for suffering through. Smaller is better.

The things you've stopped doing

Depression is sneaky. It convinces you that the things that used to help don't matter anymore.

• That shower you keep putting off? It matters.

• Eating something that isn't toast? It matters.

• Replying to that text from your friend? It matters.

You don't have to do everything. Pick one small thing today. Tomorrow, maybe pick another.

Say it out loud

This is the hardest one. But keeping it all inside makes it grow.

Tell someone: your partner, your mum, your health visitor, a friend. Even just, "I'm not okay right now."

You don't need to explain everything or have it figured out. You just need to let someone in.

The Guilt That Won't Let Go

"I should be grateful. I wanted this baby."

You can love your baby and still find this hard. Both things can be true at the same time.

Struggling doesn't mean you don't love them. It means you're human, and you're going through something really difficult-for now.

The guilt isn't helping you. It's just making you feel worse. What if you let it go, just for today?

When Your Body Feels Wrong

Postpartum depression isn't just in your head. You might feel:

• Exhausted no matter how much you sleep

• Tight chest or racing heart

• No appetite, or eating constantly

• Restless but too tired to move

These are signs your body is stressed. Small things help:

• Five deep breaths when you notice tension building-in deep and gradually

  through your nose, out slowly through your mouth like blowing through a straw

• A short walk outside, even just to the end of the street

• Moving your body in any way that feels okay - stretching, dancing to one song, anything

You're not trying to fix everything. You're just trying to feel a bit less awful right now.

The Comparison Trap

Every other mum looks like she has it together. Their babies sleep, they're dressed, they're smiling in photos.

Here's the truth: you're seeing their highlight reel. You're comparing their outside to your inside. And it's not fair on you.

What if you stopped scrolling for a bit? What if you focused on your own tiny wins instead of everyone else's apparently perfect lives?

This Won't Last Forever

I know it feels like you'll always feel this way. But you won't.

With support, with small steps, with someone to talk to - it does get better. Not overnight. Not in a straight line. But it does shift.

You don't have to do this alone. You don't have to have all the answers right now.

You just need to take the next small step. And then the next one.

You Can Do This But You Don't Have to Figure This Out By Yourself

If you're in Wishaw, Motherwell, or anywhere in the UK, I offer counselling specifically for women going through this. We can talk about what's actually going on for you - not just generic advice, but real, practical support.

You can book a free 15-minute chat to see if it feels right. No pressure. No judgement. Just a conversation.

Because you deserve to feel like yourself again.

Sabah Moran

Fertility & Perinatal Counselling

Wishaw, Motherwell & Online across the UK

changecounselling@hotmail.com | 07786-726840

If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please reach out for urgent support: contact your GP, call 111, or go to A&E. You can also call the Samaritans on 116 123 - they're available 24/7.